It is my job to see through

What ever this shit is

Seen through

Milky lenses

And colored defenses

I have to stop trying

Stop fighting

The inevitable failure

The promised victory

Is all the same

In the end and beginning

Of fathomless I am

Am not

Luciferian

Angelic

God

What do you have to do with me

Nothing

Everything

But we cannot be owned

Or contrived

Even when we’re pretending to be

Existing to be

Human

And alien entities of

Prized imperfection

And perfection of

Infinite possibilities

In inharmonious conjunction

Harmonious dissonance

Is the incompletion

The completion of

One times one

One and nothing

Make nothing

And everything is the love

You’re made of…

And I believe in you.

Devah

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I was a little hungry

A trifle out of sorts

A bit wary to leave my bed

The sunrise told me

Go back to sleep instead

I listened and obeyed

Commenced in daylight dreams

And tossed against

My snow white sheets

Of frothy linen foam

But holes bore through lids

And a child tugged at

The plaid sleeves dangling

From my fingers to the ground

Wanting griddle cakes

Slits letting in the scene

Of a ragamuffin cherub

Gleaming foretold giggles

And I smiled into loves eyes

Fulfilled…

When I awoke today.

Devah

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Innocence reveals itself

In unexpected moments

An invisible zipper

I find to release my guts

After fumbling through

Accumulated knowledge

I like the way the zigs and zags

Are homogenized for

The sake of uniformity

Characters meet at the end

Of every structured line

To say nothing and everything

In the most simplistic way

Like a child learning to speak

Its native language that

The aged can seldom understand

For jaded hypocrisy scours

The tender flesh from them

And still… that invisible zipper

Undoes the hardest man

For the sake of reception

And freedom…

Innocence will save him

When his ear holes have been

Sealed over

And his eyes have been sown

Shut tight to human intervention.

Devah

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I go back and check
No…
No message.
No…
No one read the one I sent
I am pathetic.
I reach and reach
Only to pull back
When I have received
The desired response

Unavailability
Reversed
Anomally
Paradox of purpose
Contradictory of yearning
My life would be poetry
If I knew what poetry was
My biography would be
Romantic
If I knew what love was.

I am an effortless expression
Of enigma
Naked and unmysterious
The open door
With no where to enter into
Nirvana and Purgatory
In constant waiting
And strange fulfillment

I go back and check
Re-write
Messages come in
Read
Delete
Read
Delete
Sit and wonder
Why solitude prevails

The wrong responders
And the right ignorers
Define my reclusiveness.
I don’t know you
And the ones I know
Don’t want me to.

Devah

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Down at my soles
Eyes travel the path
Feared to tread forward
And on into the unknown
Set up for going no where
I don’t know what else to do
But think and type aimlessly
Beginning and finding my
Feet glued to the same spot
At the end of chaos threads

Limbo is a place
Like Paradise or Hades
Somewhere but nowhere
Hanging unknowing
Of which door you stand before
Or behind
Limbo is the house you choose
When you refuse to make
Your mind

Been here long enough
To have forgotten
How I got here
The constant ocean has washed
Ancient footfalls invisible
Dead to foreign sand
My flesh is falling
Becoming a part of where
New feet will walk someday…

Devah

There is no reason

To be up this late

This is when

I used to feel the move

The jiggle in my

Esoteric parts

But my talk has left off living

And lies

An empty husk at my feet

How black can night get?

I have counted the stars

With lonely Satyr

And named them all

Bathed in mist

And frenetic molecules

Enough to last and leave me

Wanting

When did I decide

I knew more than anyone

Broken flashbulbs

Unreplaced

Strobe light lost with disco days

Like Pollyanna sunshine ways

My vision of hope

Was squashed

Under muddy pessimistic boots

The big one was dropped

On my home

Now I loathe you

No not love…

You don’t want love.

How do I know?

I stepped into your shadow.

I don’t like it here.

Devah

]]> http://devah.wordpress.com/2008/03/07/broken-flashbulbs/feed/ 0 devah http://devah.wordpress.com/2008/03/07/of-isis-laughs/ http://devah.wordpress.com/2008/03/07/of-isis-laughs/#comments Fri, 07 Mar 2008 07:43:19 +0000 devah http://devah.wordpress.com/2008/03/07/of-isis-laughs/ ]]> Of Isis’s Laughs

Feeling sad and old
Ruminating about
The one who slipped
Through faulty hands
The one I misappropriated
The only one

Feeling deserving
Of screen red eyes
And jagged yellow fingernails
My tattered white trash
Plaid padded coat
Hangs askew

Silver roots showing
At the part
And faded black nap
My head cocked to the side
Dull and empty
Forgets what it remembered

The twenty third cigarette,
Haphazard at the corner
Of tired lips
Misses its lost smoke
Like the holder
Misses its last kiss

And I wonder how
It happened that I grew
To age so fast
And how many times
I have been the butt
Of Isis’ laughs

And I decided to make amends
For foolish youthful negligence
For pathetic attempts
To reengage
And fumbling the pass

And to thank you
Contritely in my home
Of shattered glass
For that last night
Of shared star-crossed yearning
On the Capitol grass…

Devah

Was all I could say
Lost in translation?
I have strained
In desperate effort
To speak your language.
Studied for decades
In the damp night
Only a sputtering candle
To light my way.
Through a scribbled mess
Of catastrophe…
My short hand version
Of your message
The only text I could attain.
You are the Lord
Of the land
I wish to wander.
And your word is the law.
But how can I follow it?
Underground it flows
The language you borrow
A spring I could drown in
Trapped
Under the soil
Of your dialect
Hindered
By my own interpretation
Lost in your ocean
Of letters
Randomly put together
To form
Your wavering thought
How many fathoms
Deep must I go
To follow…

DEVAH
2007

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You Came along one day
It was raining…
I was sitting alone
Searching for purpose.
I had lost myself
To Tragedy

I wanted to survive
I wanted to be free
I lived in a cage
Not gilded gold
But rusty brass
Of my own design I know

Even the enlightened
Suffer sometimes
But no one knows….

And I an enlightened one
had darkened my light
Hidden
Under a blanket in my cold bed
With my toes poking out
Freezing

How does this woman
Make her way?
I asked myself questions
That only I could answer.
I got tangled up
tangled up in my covering
So I threw it off

Because I heard you calling
Beloved voices
Tapped out on unseen Keys
Known faces
If only in dreams
Smiling warm smiles
Thawing me.
Beckoning…
Come
Come Unto me
Come Home…

I shook off my slumber
Not for that sweet call
Only,
I remembered
I remembered my purpose in you
I remembered
On that rainy night
That I loved you
Known, Unknown
And Unified
In The same Light
In The same Love
In The same Life
That is my own.

DEVAH
2007

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You’d think
I had been crying all day.
My tears are dried up in the socket
And still
I feel crusting on my cheeks
I can’t wash it off.

It was easier when I didn’t know
I love him
In the way that a lover feels
When watching their beloved sleep
Elated in every slow
In and out breath

I could live for that alone

But there are light years
That divide us…

I have made an error
And done an injustice to my beloved
Allowing my heart
To go deeper than
This time could make way for

I have sinned against him
My head could hang not lower
Unless it were buried
A foot under the surface
Of the other side of the earth
From where I kneel

More than a thousand days
Have seen the travesty
Of the demise of kindred
In the end
I wonder
If I might have chosen different

With a sad chuckle
I know…

My sin lingers

I can not hold here
In this moment
Or separate this heart from my body
But would I If I could
And forget his smile
His laugh
His warm hand in mine
His lips built to mold against these

No.

A greater fool would I then be

For all that has passed between…
The tear in my soul…
The future without his shadow
Falling on my face…
Will too pass into memory
As the love I knew
Unrequited
For He…

Devah

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